I have grown up envious to everyone around me. When I was a little kid, I have always looked up to my friends, whom I thought gets the things I always wanted.
As a middle child and the quiet one, I tend to get more neglected than those siblings that are loud, clingy, and attention-seeking. So, I don’t really get what I want. I have grown up so tired of hearing the requests of my siblings to my parents, and guess what? They get it! That made me more silent in the home I never really felt like I was home. I was like a ghost between the four walls of the house.
That just made me think I have to do better in school so at least I could get attention. I have done what I can, but most of the time, it only just made me bored with the routine, and other kids wanted to be in the spotlight. I’m not really a competitor when it comes to class. If they like to be at the top, then, let them be. I have my own dilemma.
I enrolled at a high school in town, and was nicknamed The Devil or The Weird Geek. Well, these were actually my labels that would last a lifetime. At first, I thought that I would still be as envious as when I was younger, but I was wrong. I have grown tired of becoming it. I became a bit apathetic because I don’t really get envious anymore! Hahahaha!
Now, I actually just act like I’m full of envy whenever someone is showing off things that the others could feel the emotion. I don’t know what happened. Maybe, I’m just so jaded with it.